Eminem - Assorted Songs


 

The Real Slim Shady

(Talking)
May I have your attention please,
may I have your attention please,
will the real slim shady please stand up, I repeat
will the real slim shady please stand up ...
we're gonna have a problem here ...

(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor
like pam and tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he?"
and Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
he's locked in my bassment
feminist women love eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady,
"I'm sick of him, lookit him
walkin around, grabbin his you know what
flippin' to you know who"
"yeah, but he's so cute though"
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
but cant, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
they got the discovery channel, dont they?
we ain't nothing but mammals
well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantelopes
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote
women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes..............

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a grammy
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to britney spears
shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear em argue over who she gave head to first
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only givin you things
you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it (riiip)
I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can
then you wonder how can
kids eat up these albums like valiums
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's
and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin
he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck
with his windows down and his system up
so will the real shady please stand up
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? .................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Talking)
haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up


Without Me

[Obie Trice]
"Obie Trice, Real Name No Gimmicks..."

Beat Changes

[Eminem]
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.

[Female Voice]
"Ooooohhhhh!"

Eminem
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back...

Verse 1:
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
See Marshall no more they want Shady
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating "Hey"
You waited this long to stop debating
Cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know you got a job Ms. Cheney
But your husbands heart problems complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So come on dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that cum on your lips and some on your tits
And get ready cuz this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, "Fuck you Debbie!"

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

Verse 2:
Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prison is helpless,
Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution,
Pollutin' the air waves a rebel
So let me just revel and bask,
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
And it's a disaster such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back (*Batman Noise*) fix your bent antenna
Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Chorus 2x

Verse 3:
A tisk-it a task-it,
I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards,
And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie,
You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don't know me, you're too old
Let go, it's over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, just give me the signal
I will be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems,
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this means I'm disgusting,
But its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley,
To do Black Music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
There's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty without me

Chorus 2x

Hum dei la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la
Hum dei la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la